Shattered
by AJeff
Summary: Pretender and Profiler crossover. Miss Parker has to come to terms on her feelings for Jarod after finding him in bed with the profiler. JMP
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Jarod or Miss Parker. And I definitely don't own Rachel Burke of the "Profiler".**

**Author's Note: Bold italics are their thoughts.**

Miss Parker walked around his house. Everything was in perfect order. So, she thought, until she saw pieces of his clothing scattered on the carpet. **_Slob!_** She followed the trail of his jacket, necktie, dress shirt from the living room sofa to the closed bedroom door where she found a pair of woman's open-toe three-inch red heels. Something she would definitely wear. The "ice queen" hesitated, but her hand touched the doorknob. Slowly, she pushed the door open. **_Shit!_** She'd never imagined this scenario at all. Of course, he was a man with needs but, to actually witness him in bed with a woman in the flesh, in the raw, fast asleep, cuddled in each others arms was something she had never expected.

With the cocked sound of her 9mm and someone standing over them, Jarod, being a light sleeper, opened his eyes and immediately sat up at the sight of her. Rachel, too, jumped up as she felt his sudden jolt.

In a stance position, Parker aimed her pistol at them.

"Put the gun down, Parker. You don't want murder on your hands." Jarod spoke calmly.

"Make me," she hissed.

Rachel wrapped herself with the bed sheet.

"Why cover up, darling? We've got the same thing," Parker told the profiler.

"Is this the secret you've been keeping from me, Jarod? You've got a wife?" Rachel shook at the sight of the pistol and turned to Jarod.

"She's not my wife."

Parker yelled. "So, who gets it first?"

"Parker, this isn't funny. Put the damned gun down."

"Do you see me laughing?" She aimed her 9mm at her "pretender". "Who is this tramp? First, it was Nia, then Zoe, so who's your new playmate now?"

"Didn't realized you kept track of my..."

"Extra curriculum activities?" She shot an icy glare at Rachel.

"What I do with my personal life is none of your business".

"So, what were you profiling? What exactly does a profiler do? Besides this?" She waved her pistol at Rachel.

"I see you've done your homework." He grabbed his shorts which was discarded the night before off of the floor and put it on. He then yanked Parker's arm and led her into the living room.

"How the hell did you get in?" They both hollered loud enough for his lover to have heard every word of their conversation.

"I guess you two were in such a rush to jump into bed, you forgot to lock your front door, you bloody idiot!"

During their screamfest, Rachel dressed quickly and waited until she thought it was safe for her to leave. She made a dash to the door when Jarod stopped her.

"Rachel! You're not leaving. She is!" He pointed to Parker. "Get out! Unless you're planning to take me in, get the hell out!"

Parker cocked her head and made no attempt to move.

"I said get out!" He held the door open for her.

Parker slapped him hard across the face. She raised her hand for a second hit, but Jarod quickly grabbed her wrist. "I said to get out."

"Fuck you! Fuck both of you!" Parker yelled as she stormed out. As she stood outside of his house, she trembled. **_My god! What the hell just happened? What the hell did I just do? Why?_**

Jarod turned to Rachel. "I think it's about time you know who I am. I'm what they call a "Pretender". When I was very young I lived at a place called "The Centre".

Rachel listened without any interrupted questions. When he was done, he waited for her reaction.

"Tell me again, who Parker is to you?" Jarod knew that would have been the first question asked.

"Just what I told you. She was my first friend at "The Centre". The daughter of the chairman of the board.

"Jarod, she wasn't just a friend. She was upset when she saw us in bed. You had a sexual relationship with her?"

"No. Just a kiss we shared once a very long time ago."

"Must have been some hell of a kiss, Jarod."

He was quiet and reminisced back. They were so very young then. **_Why now? Where were you two months ago, Parker?_**

"Jarod, let me tell you this. A woman can tell things a man can't. Your Parker? She's been in love with you for a very long time now. You say there's sweepers? Where were they? She wouldn't have come here to have apprehended you alone and taken you back to "The Centre", she might have had other intentions. Only she never expected someone here with you. She sounded more like a jealous wife who just found her husband in bed with his mistress, than her just doing her job in returning you where she thinks you belong. It's not "The Centre". I believe she thinks you belong to her. Do you, Jarod? Do you belong to her? What exactly is she to you? Do you love her? Have you always loved her?"

Jarod stayed quiet.

"I guess I know your answer. Look, I'd better leave. Call me if things don't work out with you two. But, something tells me you won't be calling. Who are you, Jarod? And this Sydney person, he's the only father you've known?"

"Yes, he's the only father I've known. I'm not an FBI agent. My name is Jarod Russell."

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"I found Jarod. With that profiler woman." Miss Parker mumbled as she walked into her office and found the psychiatrist and computer technician waiting for her. "Don't you two have anywhere else to hang out besides my office?"

"Where, Miss Parker?" Broots asked. "Where'd you find, Jarod? Have you called the sweepers?"

"Is he alright, Parker?" Sydney asked concerned.

"Yes, he's fine, Sydney! And to answer your question, Broots! No, I haven't called in the sweepers! And where'd I find him? In bed! Profiling each other! They were buck naked!" She screamed and slammed her bag on her desk and lit up a cigarette.

"Well, yeah, Miss Parker. I supposed they'd be naked." He laughed nervously. "You found Jarod in bed with a woman?"

"Broots." Sydney warned him.

"Shut up, Broots! You too, Sydney! Both of you, shut the fuck up! Get out before I actually blow everybody's brains off!"

Outside of her office, Broots laughed. "She's jealous! Miss Parker's jealous! I think she's got a thing for Jarod!"

"Broots. That's enough." Sydney spoke calmly.

"I still can hear you two! Fuck!" She roughly opened her office door. "I'm not jealous! Who said I'm jealous! He can go fucking anyone he wants to! You got that?"

"Yeah, yeah, Miss Parker."

"Broots! Let's go."

As they walked away, Broots continued his chatter. "Except she wished she was the one in that bed with him. What's all this supposed to mean, Sydney?"

"It means exactly what you just said. Miss Parker is very much indeed jealous on seeing Jarod with another woman."

"Not just in a restaurant, Sydney! In bed! She found them in bed together!"

"You're really enjoying yourself at this very moment, aren't you, Broots?"

"Well, yeah! Aren't you?"

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Miss Parker stumbled into her house and made her way on the sofa in the dark.

"Where have you been?" Jarod switched on the light and stood in front of her.

"Having some fun of my own," she slurred. "What are you doing here? Go back home to your Rachel!"

"You're drunk, Parker."

"And you're a bastard, Jarod!"

"Let me go fix you a cup of coffee and then we can talk, alright? I'd like to talk to you."

Like a child, she covered her ears with her hands. "Leave me alone." She laid in a fetal position and hugged a cushion. Parker mumbled under her breath, but, it was loud enough for Jarod to have heard her. "Even if you wanted me now, I sure as hell don't want you, after you've been with her, in her." She cried painfully.

Jarod sat beside her and stroked her hair. "I'm sorry, Parker." **_I never told Rachel I loved her. I never loved her. Would that make you less angry at me?_**

She pushed his hand away. "Please leave me alone. I don't want you in my life. I've just erased you from my past. You never existed. I don't want you. Not anymore. And I've stopped my feelings for you from entering my future."

Jarod was her everything. But, he hadn't known it. She feared his rejection which kept her from telling him how she felt. After all, she had a job to do. Her heart broke a little more each time as she watched him from afar. She was hypnotized by those chestnut colored eyes of his. With each passing moment, her heart ached for him. When she finally realized she couldn't have gone on without having told him how she felt, she had made a decision in the early morning to do so, not realizing he would have shattered her heart into bits and pieces.

"Parker," he knelt down onto the floor and again stroked her hair. He wanted her to look at him with those beautiful sky blue eyes of hers. He would do just about anything to turn back the hands of time. Jarod loved her and wanted her to love him back, but, as he watched her helplessly crying, he scratched that possibility out of his mind.

"Don't touch me." She inched her body away from him, but still, he stroked her locks. "You touched her."

Immediately, he stopped and watched as she cried.

She cried herself to sleep that night. When she had awoken the next morning, a blanket covered her and found a pillow placed under her head. It took her several seconds before she recalled her crying session during the night and the painful event that had occurred. She then, continued her cry.

**TBC - Chapter 2**


	2. Chapter 2

Miss Parker's cheeks were warm from her tears. Her head pounded from an excruciating pain. She ran to the bathroom and stuck her head into the toilet bowl.

"See what happens when you drink on an empty stomach." Jarod wiped her face with a cold wash cloth.

"I don't need a nursemaid. Why are you still here? So, what number is she on the notch on your belt?" She sat on the cold cement floor and heaved into the bowl again. He held her hair and rubbed her back gently.

"Always a gentleman, huh, Jarod? I'll bet you weren't a gentleman when you were doing it to her all night." She heaved again, then, leaned her forehead on the rim of the bowl.

Jarod helped her up. His eyes were cold and distant. "Yes, we did it again and again and again, that we finally collapsed into each other's arms totally exhausted, from banging her brains out for three straight nights in a row."

Miss Parker lunged at him, but, quickly he ducked. "Take a shower, Parker. You'll feel a lot better."

After twenty minutes, she entered the living room and saw he had put away her blanket and pillow.

"I made coffee. I'll get you a cup if you want."

"Stop it! Stop it! Just stop it! Alright? I don't want you in my life, get out! Why didn't you just go home last night? I don't need a babysitter! I just want to forget everything I saw!"

"What were you doing at my place, anyway?"

"Would you believe me if I told you I was just in the neighborhood?" She answered sarcastically.

"I don't owe you an explanation, we're not in a relationship where I have to tell you about my personal life."

"You mean, your love life." Inside, she felt sick again, ready to explode. Parker stared into his eyes, her tears slipped down her face.

He sat down and pulled her onto his lap. She was comforted like a baby.

Miss Parker felt jealousy, pain and regret. Beneath them, their silent love for each other seemed to have shattered. She hid the real person in her. To the world, she was cold-hearted. She never bared her soul to anyone. And she wasn't about to. It was so difficult for her heart to have clung on to the love she felt for him. He had never once saw the love. The love she had hoped they'd share one day, had been destroyed.

He wished he'd never met her. His heart broke in half as if it had been his fault for their misery. She wasn't for one to have begged for attention from him. He occupied her every thought which drove herself mad. Forgetting him, she never could accomplish. He constantly appeared in her mind, an image of him and her love for him played continuously in her head.

"Do you love her?" She asked, almost hoarse.

"No," he answered without hesitation. "I do care about her. But, I don't love her. I could never love two people at the same time. I love you, Parker. But, you never gave me the slightest idea how you felt about me."

He wiped the moisture away from her face. "Where were you all these years of our running games? I would have stopped for you. I wouldn't have kept on running."

She stroked his face. He leaned his forehead on hers. Their lips touched. It was warm and sensual. Parker let out a soft moan as she snaked her arms around his back.

When they pulled apart for air, she whispered. "I've always loved you, Jarod."

She felt his lips on her neck. He slipped into the opening of her robe and she felt the warmth of his hand as he cupped her breast. Repeatedly, they kissed.

"No," she whispered. "Mustn't do this."

"Why?" He kissed her forehead, eyes, then her lips again. She melted in his arms. "Stop." Yet, she kissed him hungrily.

"I've waited so long to make love to you, Parker." He untied the knot on her sash when she suddenly pushed him away and jump off of his lap.

She fluffed her hair and screamed. "And who were you thinking of when you two were sexing up?"

"Just stop it, Parker! Stop it, already!" He hollered.

"You think I'd let you in me after I saw you two in bed together? I can't get that image out of my mind!" She threw her hands up into the air. "I can just see your hands trailing all over her! I imagine you making love to her from the very beginning of your touches to the end of your combined explosions! I can see all of that!"

"Honey, calm down."

"And just because I let you kiss me a few times, you have the right to call me honey? And what terms of endearment did you call her? Baby? Sweetness? Or better yet, Sexy Lady?" She spoke in her throaty voice.

"What do you want me to say, huh? Listen to us! Just listen to us! We're fighting like a husband and wife expecting me to apologize for being in bed with someone else instead of you! I'll do as I please and I sure as hell won't be doing it with you!"

"I wouldn't have you touch me with a ten-foot pole! I don't ever want you in me after you've been with her!" Miss Parker screamed at the top of her lungs.

"You've got that right! Finally, something we both can agree upon! Don't you think I have needs? Like you? Heaven only knows how many men you've slept with! Picked up at bars! Not knowing who the hell they are! At least I know the name of the lady I've been sleeping with. And she is a lady. And Parker? Unlike your partners, Rachel was not a one night stand! We've been seeing each other for two months now. I've known her for over a year. She's beautiful, smart and talented, in more ways than you can imagine. Is there anything else you'd like to know about her?"

Jarod knew he had said a little too much and regretted every thing he had just blurted out and wished somehow he could have taken back every bit of those hurtful words he attacked her with.

Miss Parker no longer yelled, instead she sat down by the window and stared out into nothing in particular.. She took a deep breath before she spoke. "I never wanted to want you, Jarod. I never wanted to feel anything for you. You ruined my life the day you came into the picture."

As angry as he was, he still wanted to have comforted her, and held her, but, he knew she wouldn't have allowed it. He wondered what would Sydney have done if he had walked into the room and saw two grown people crying.

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Miss Parker felt the rapid pulse of her heart as she saw him. After what had occurred between them several weeks ago, images of their past confrontation flashed in her head. He approached her with caution as he stood in her doorway expecting to be invited in.

"Jarod, what are you doing here?" She hissed. The glow of the full moonlight illuminated her eyes.

"How have you been, Parker?" Tenderly he stroked her face.

"Don't touch me," she whispered.

"Okay. Sorry. You're still angry at me."

She could see the sadness in his puppy-dog eyes. "I'm still hurt, angry and confused. Day and night, you've tormented me. These weeks have been unbearable. I hate to get up each morning and face this cruel world."

**_At least she's not yelling._** He tucked strands of her hair behind her ear and smiled at her. She stood still and waited for his next move. Jarod entered her home without being invited in. He closed in the distance between them and intended to do more than just talk. But, Parker moved away from him.

"Parker, I'm sorry for everything. Could we just take it slowly? One day at a time? Even though you can't say it right now, I know you love me."

Her gaze shifted to the floor. "Parker?"

"I can't, Jarod. I'm not a forgiving person." **_Loving you hurts me, don't you now that?_**

"Tell me you don't love me, then, I won't bother you anymore." He reached out and held her hand.

"Don't do this to me." She squeezed his hand tightly, but released her hold. "Let go, please."

Jarod held up his hands in front of her. "Okay. I won't touch you. Parker, I'm not perfect."

"Neither am I, Jarod."

"You're my life, honey. If you give me a chance, I will take care of you in every way possible."

"I can be cold-hearted. My temper changes like the unpredictable weather."

"I know. But, life is short. I would never hurt you intentionally. There are so many things I'd love to do. Like dancing in the rain with you." He hesitated, then laid his hands on her shoulders.

She caught herself smiling. "Dancing in the rain?"

He nodded. "And whatever your heart desires."

I"d like to make love outside under a full moon. I'd like to sit quietly and stare at the stars." Parker lightly tugged at his shirt. "I want us to make a wish on a falling star. And count how many constellations we can name. Jarod?"

"Yes?"

Parker turned him towards the door and opened it. "It's raining, sweetheart," she whispered. "Shall we dance?"

**JMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMPJMP**

Bailey Malone, head of the VCTF (Violent Criminal Task Force) and Rachel's boss walked into her office as she sat behind her desk with several file folders opened in front of her.

"I thought I told you to ease up on the cases. You're in no condition to work these long hours anymore."

"I'm fine. I just need to keep busy," she answered, never looking up at him.

"Have you contacted him yet, **_Dr. Burke_**?" He emphasized her name.

"Who?" She buried her face in the stacked of papers and never looked up.

"Don't play coy with me. That FBI agent of yours."

"He was never mine. And it's been six months since I've seen him. It was never meant to be."

"You have one more month before you..."

Rachel rudely interrupted him. "I can count. I know it's one more month. I've planned out everything."

"Had it ever occurred to you that you might not...why did you refuse treatment? Why? You didn't have to go through with this." He raised his voice.

"It's my body. And I know it would have been the first and last time I'd be..."

Bailey finished her sentence. "First and last time you'd ever be pregnant. Was it so important for you to have a child instead of going through treatments which could save your life. What use is the baby without its mother? And even if you survive this, you think he'll be around to help you? Why did you even think of having this baby?"

"Because it's his. He had a lonely life growing up. I-I wanted him to have a family." **_My god, I won't be around for my baby. Just hope I'll live long enough to hold him._**

Bailey shook his head. "You'll be giving birth soon. If you didn't go through with this pregnancy, you'd probably be in remission by now. What were you thinking?"

"It wasn't guaranteed." She drummed her fingers on her desk. "Hey, I need to make a phone call. I'll talk to you later, Bailey. Alright? Please?"

"I'll just be right out there if you need anything."

Rachel wrapped her finger with the wire of the telephone. "Yes, operator. I'd like the number to "The Centre", Blue Cove, Delaware. I see. Okay, then, how about a listing for a Dr. Sydney Green?"

**TBC - Chapter 3**


	3. Chapter 3

**Profiler Headquarters**

Sydney wondered why he had agreed to meet Rachel Burke. He glanced at his wristwatch. It was five minutes before Bailey Malone appeared into the profiler's office. As he introduced himself, he held out his hand to Sydney and shook it firmly.

"Dr. Green. I was made aware of your meeting with Dr. Burke."

"Yes." Sydney looked towards the door and waited for her entrance. "I'm sorry that I could not make it any sooner. We set up this meeting three weeks ago."

"Yes, I understand. But, she's not here." Bailey sighed loudly. "Something has happened."

"What's this all about? Is Dr. Burke alright?"

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On the ride to the hospital, there were a lot of questions asked and answered. Sydney stroked his chin. How could he possibly be the one to speak to Jarod about his former relationship, which was truly none of his business. And then there was Miss Parker, putting things aside, everything seemed to have been going well with the both of them. He could only imagine what the outcome of this situation would be like.

The two men walked into the profiler's hospital room. Sydney clearly saw how much pain the expectant mother was in .

"Hello, Rachel. I'm Sydney. I'm so very sorry to meet you under such unusual circumstances."

She extended her hand weakly to him and tried to sit herself up. The psychiatrist helped her in an upright position.

"Is there anything I can do for you, Rachel?"

She smiled. "Thank you for being here. You know why you were summoned?"

"I believe so."

"I'm assuming Bailey filled you in on my situation. I don't have much time." A sudden fear crossed her face. She repeated, " I don't have much time."

"I'm aware of your condition, Rachel." Sydney picked up the clipboard and flipped through her chart.

"You've been told of the baby? " Rachel asked, then turned to Bailey.

"Why didn't you contact Jarod when you first found out about your pregnancy? Excuse me for asking, but, were you going to raise this child alone?"

"Yes. I don't know. I know there is Parker. And I guess I thought best not to tell him after all. Then, I was diagnosed..." Her voice softened. "Even if there's a slight chance I might survive, I won't even be able to breast feed my baby. A mother knows things and I know I won't be around for too long. When I'm gone, my baby, our son, won't have any parents of his own. He'll never know me, but, I want him to know his father. To be with him."

Rachel suddenly hugged her belly. "I just realized I won't be with you to help you grow up. But, you'll have your daddy with you. He'll love you. He's a good man. And you'll even have a mommy who'll love you just as much as I do."

Bailey grabbed a few facial tissues off of the night stand and handed it to Rachel. She hesitated for a bit, then continued.

"Sydney?"

"Yes, Rachel."

"Tell Jarod about the baby. Tell him I'm sorry I deceived him. Tell him...just tell him."

"Rachel, I-I think it would be wiser if you spoke to him. Tell him what you feel and what exactly needs to be done."

"I don't want him seeing me like this. Look at me. Expectant mothers are supposed to be radiant. Have a glow about them. The picture of happiness. I'm nothing like that. I don't want him to remember me like this." She sniffled, then continued. "He said you raised him?"

"In a matter of speaking."

"You must tell me one day how he was like as a child. And Parker? Have you known her as long as you've known Jarod?"

"Yes, since she was a little girl."

"Could she love someone else's child? My child? Would she be a good mother to him?" Rachel's eyes teared.

"I really don't know, Rachel. I don't know. I'd like to believe that she would." On the outside, Miss Parker seemed cold-hearted, but he knew her so well, that she was capable of fully loving someone.

"Doctors say I might not survive after the delivery. I know I won't. I've accepted it. Bailey has all the necessary papers for my baby's welfare. He'll be taken care of financially. I just want to know that he'll be loved. I want him to be in a loving environment. I want so much for him, but, I won't be around to see that." She gently caressed her stomach and smiled at Sydney. "You know how hard it is to smile when you're nauseous?"

Sydney rubbed his eyes and felt helpless.

"Jarod took my breath away when I first met him. He was the first person I'd think about when I woke up in the morning. Only, Parker was the one he's always loved. He never said he loved me. But, I do. I really don't want to disrupt his life, but, it's his baby. I'm getting closer to heaven, but, I really don't want to go home right now. I wished I had one more moment with him."

"The more you should see him, I'm sorry for saying this, but, for one last time." Sydney wanted to take her pain away. But, he was no miracle worker. Her face was taunt. He didn't want to leave her side. He was the closest person to Jarod and it gave her comfort knowing a part of him was with her.

"Sydney." Rachel called out to him with her eyes closed.

"I'm here, Rachel."

"I need to speak to Parker, before...before I go." She opened her eyes and looked up at him. "I have to speak to Parker."

"I don't think it's a very good idea."

But, she pleaded with him. "Please." Her voice was barely audible. All the tears and sorrow she tried to hold back came out.

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It wasn't until late the very next day that Sydney had mustered up his courage to ring Jarod's doorbell. He wished he had more time to have gotten his thoughts in order, but Rachel was the one who had no time at all. As he stood on the doorstep, a strange numbness filled him. He was put in a very tensed predicament which he would not have wished upon anyone. He promised Rachel that he'd do his best in relaying her messages, a dying woman's wishes to the father to be and his "ice queen".

It wasn't what he had expected. Parker was calm, speechless and showed no emotions. Sydney grasped Jarod's hands and watched the tears on his face slowly slid down. Jarod then turned towards Parker. She sat quietly by the window and he approached her with caution.

"I'm sorry, Parker." Still, she kept quiet. "Say, something. Yell, hit me, anything."

She had a dead-pan look and spoke in a low voice. "Teach me how to love someone else's child. How do I do that? I don't know how to do that."

"Yes, you do. You love Debbie and she's not your child."

Sydney held his breath and waited for Miss Parker's outburst which was long overdued.

"But, Debbie's not my lover's child! I wanted to have been the one to have given you a baby! Not her!" She screamed.

"If you're worried about competition, you won't have any! She'll be dead! Imagine how I'm feeling. She refused treatment to..."

"To give you a baby! Isn't love just grand? What a martyr she is! And each time you'll look at that baby, he'll be a reminder of how you killed his mother!" She told him coldly.

"Thank you for that thought! And you'll only think of him as my lover's baby!"

"That is enough, you two. The baby is your main concern now." Sydney stood in the line of fire.

"No, his concern, not mine!" Miss Parker pointed to Jarod as she yelled at Sydney.

"You do have a home of your own, Parker. Why don't you just leave?"

"Jarod. Parker. Stop. Think before you say things you'll eventually regret. And Parker, there is one thing I failed to tell you."

Parker quickly wiped her tears away.

"Rachel wishes to see you, to speak to you." The doctor waited for her reaction, but there was none.

There was a silent deafening in the air. Jarod and Miss Parker looked at each other, but said nothing. Sydney broke the silence.

"It's best we see her as soon as possible. Preferably, tomorrow."

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Miss Parker had fallen down on her knees and sobbed convulsively as she tried to catch her breath. She wished she could have pretended she didn't care. Jarod stood at the bottom of the stairs and watched. He couldn't have comforted her even if he wanted to. How could he? He, too, needed comforting.

Every moment they hadn't looked at each other, talked or touched, nearly killed Parker inside. Jarod had retired to bed early, whereas she stayed in the living room and tried to make sense of everything that had happened in the hours since having been informed of the impending birth of his son and the soon to be tragic ending of Rachel's life.

After what seemed like an eternity of crying, she felt numb and betrayed. She stared at the sleeping form on the bed. Jarod laid on his side. Parker quietly crawled in as so not to have awakened him.

"I'm not asleep." His voice startled her.

She inched her way slowly to him and cuddled him from behind.

"I do love you," he told her.

"I know." She leaned her face against his back.

"Don't ever doubt my love for you, Parker." He pulled her arms tightly around him.

"I won't. I'm sorry. I love you, too."

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Rachel was afraid of dying and she had been afraid to tell him. Although, Jarod knew. He knew from the panic stricken look on her eyes which roamed around the hospital room, that she knew she had only but a few days away before Fate would finally take her in.

"If only for a moment, I wish you could feel the love I have for you. I missed your arms that held me close. Jarod, I've missed you so very much. I love you. I know your heart never belonged to me." Rachel felt the soft beats of her heart for him.

"Shh, you should rest now." Jarod cupped his hand in hers and gently kissed her fingers.

"Jarod?"

"Yes," he whispered and wiped her tears.

"I give our baby to you. Make sure he knows who I am. And it was never meant for me to have left him. I'm so fortunate to have had you in my life. I only wish you were mine to hold on to forever. But, forever was never me. Was it? You were never mine. You never said you loved me. It's alright. We, the baby and I, have enough love for you. "

"Rachel, I..." Tears rapidly rushed down his face.

"Say goodbye to our son for me, Jarod. And goodbye to you, too. I wish I could buy a moment of time just to be with you once more. I'll always keep you in my memory. I'll be taking it with me. Maybe, someday, we'll meet again?" She choked on her tears.

"Someday," he whispered. "Please don't cry." He touched her hair and brushed it away from her face. "I'll see you around, Rachel. Don't worry about our son. He'll be fine. He'll always know you loved him. I do love you, but not in a way you would have wanted me to."

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Parker's heart tore silently inside. She felt her heartbeat pound louder and louder. As she waited for her turn, Sydney stood by her.

"Miss Parker, I am proud of you for being here today."

Throughout the years, she and Jarod played the game of "pretend". Only this was not one of their games. It was reality. It wasn't a bad dream or nightmare where she would suddenly awaken. Jarod walked out of Rachel's room looking sorrowfully. He reached out to Parker, but she pulled away. She walked passed him and walked into the same direction he just came out of.

Parker stood at the foot of the bed. Rachel signaled her to her bedside. Hesitantly, she did. But, Parker remained distant and true to her "ice queen" image. The two woman stared at each other.

"Well, this must be very awkward for you, Parker. I know you've been hating me."

"Is there anything you need me to do?" Miss Parker was polite, but scared inside.

"You can cry with me, Parker. You can cry with me." Rachel tried to be strong. "Forgive me. Jarod needs you right now. Please don't leave him. You're hurt. I can't imagine how that feels. I'm so very sorry for what I've done to your lives. Jarod needs you. My baby needs you. And I need you. I need you to make peace with me. If I wasn't ill, I don't think I would have told him about the baby."

"You think it would have been fair to him, not knowing?"

"Would you have wanted me to tell him? I don't think so, Parker, but, I had no choice, I won't be around. Our baby needs to be with his father. I won't be here." She broke down and cried.

Her blue eyes reflected sorrow and tears. She, too, felt her pain. Parker lightly ran her hand on Rachel's belly. "Is he alright?"

"Yes. He's moving around a lot." Rachel smiled and pressed her hand on Parker's. "Felt that?" Her stomach had hardened and slowly moved about. "He'll be here soon."

Parker nodded and cried. "Don't do this to me."

"He needs a mother. I know you love Jarod so very much. Can't you somehow love his baby, too? I won't be in your way."

Miss Parker pulled away and wiped her tears, but she had no control of it. Rachel continued talking, stopping in between to catch her breath.

"I had plans for him. A huge first birthday party. His first day of school. I'll miss his first homerun. A first date, proms. His college graduation. Mommies aren't supposed to leave. I won't be there for any of those. But, you will. I never want him to question your love for him. Love my baby, Parker, not for me, but for Jarod. Don't punish him, for he never asked to come into this mixed up world of ours."

"Rachel. Stop. Please." Parker clutched her chest as if holding on to her heart.

"I don't have much time. I want you to give him a life I can never give him. I never meant to hurt you, Parker. I never meant to. I'm so very sorry."

**TBC - Chapter 4**


	4. Chapter 4

"When I'm gone, he won't have a mother."

"I lost my mother when I was very young. But, I do remember her." Miss Parker hadn't known what suddenly made her mention Catherine.

"You had a life with her. My son will never know me. Never. Even if I get to hold him just once, he won't know me." Rachel pulled the covers to her chin.

"Cold?" Parker gently laid a blanket on her and tucked it under her.

Rachel murmured softly. "Thank you. I haven't even picked out a name for him. Do you have any ideas?" For a minute, she seemed lost in thought.

Miss Parker could not believe that Rachel had the audacity to ask her on what to name hers and Jarod's son and for a split second she hated this woman. Every inch of her wished she could run out of that room, down the corridor and out of the hospital never to return to a life she now was unsure of. She studied the profiler who laid helplessly.

"Why me?" She had begun to feel sorry for herself.

Parker grabbed her hand. "It's okay to cry." She thought it was odd to have said those words. "Daddy" had always told her that crying only got in the way of emotions. Maybe that's why, she grew up wearing that so-called mask of hers, only to take it off in the privacy of her own home.

Rachel smiled when she felt Parker's hand touched hers. "Maybe we could have been friends, if we didn't love the same man and if I wasn't having his baby. If I were you, I wouldn't blame you for hating me."

This was not the "something more" Parker had wanted from Jarod. She wanted a life with him, be an "us" together and not "us" plus "his" child. The woman he had impregnated held her hand tightly in hers. They were both silent. Rachel's breathing was slow and she knew something was wrong, but said nothing.

Miss Parker had noticed she took slightly deep breaths which she knew was not normal. "Rachel? Hang in there. The baby's not here yet. You do want to meet him, don't you?"

Sorrowfully, Rachel only nodded.

Panic filled the inside of Parker. "Rachel? We haven't decided on a baby's name yet. Burke? How about Burke for his name? Would you like that?"

There was no response. "Damned it, Rachel! Don't give up now! As much as I would have wanted to have killed you at one point, don't you dare die on me now!"

"I'm still here." A smile played on her face. "Burke? Just don't call him Burkey. I only hope we can run across each other's path one day again, even if it's only briefly, just enough time for you to tell me how my son is. Promise to tell me what he's grown up to be. Because you'll be there, won't you?"

Feeling like a twisted pretzel, Parker pulled up a chair beside her. "I can't promise you that. I can't. I can't believe you're..."

"Say it, Parker. The word is dying."

Parker's voice cracked. "Dying. I stood in your way of you two being together. I'm sorry."

"I was just someone Jarod had settled for because he couldn't have you."

Rachel's sudden grip of Parker's arm startled her. "I'm leaking. My water bag just broke." Terror crossed her face. "Parker, the baby, I don't have much time. I don't want to die! What did I do so wrong in this life for me to deserve this?" She cried out painfully.

"Nothing. You did nothing wrong." Parker too, had begun to cry.

"Then, why am I dying? You'll be here to take care of my son?" She grabbed both of Parker's hand. "I'll say hello to your mother for you. What's her name? Just so I know who she is."

"Catherine." Parker tearfully replied.

"I'll tell Catherine I had the pleasure of meeting her daughter." Her voice trailed off.

The nurses call light button lit up. Immediately, the three men, Jarod, Sydney and Bailey rushed towards the room, but were stopped by a nurse and the attending physician.

"Rachel," Bailey's voice trembled. He looked up at the other two men and his heart skipped a beat. They remained speechless.

Jarod watched from the doorway. There would be one memory he knew would definitely stand out in his mind, was that of Parker comforting Rachel as she stroked her forehead soothingly.

"Promise me, Parker, promise that you'll let them have me hold my baby." She said almost breathless.

"I-I promise. And tell mama hello for me, okay?"

"Okay. I'll see you again one day." Rachel tightly shut her eyes as if to stop her pain.

"Someday." Parker realized then, that Rachel's destiny had been tied to hers which was out of her hands. And she wept for a woman she thought she hated.

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In the end, Rachel dealt with her pain. She closed her eyes and let out her last breath at the same time her son had come into the world.

Everyone stood solemnly outside of the delivery room, when Parker had started to cry. Jarod, too, cried and they both held on to each other.

After several minutes, the doctor had come out of the room.

"Did she get to hold the baby?" Parker questioned the doctor.

He shook his head. "She passed on immediately after."

"Let her hold her baby. She wanted to hold on to him." The "ice queen clenched her teeth as she spoke.

"Father of the child?" The physician looked at the younger man and had made the assumption that Jarod was the father.

"Yes, I am."

"You can see your baby now. He's being brought out."

"What am I invisible? I said she wanted to hold the baby," Parker demanded.

Miss Parker...," Sydney intervened.

She held up her hand. "Everyone else will have a lifetime with him. Not her. So, let me say this one more time. Have her hold on to her baby. I promised her that."

The doctor turned to Jarod. He nodded.

"Very well. Follow me and you can say your final goodbyes."

Jarod held on to his baby and swayed him slowly in his arms. "Would you like to hold him, Parker," he asked with tears in his eyes.

Without having said a word, she took the newborn in her arms. After several seconds, as everyone watched, she laid the infant gently on Rachel's chest and brought her arms around him.

"There you go, Rachel," Parker whispered. "Just like I promised. You got to hold Burke in your arms. And this is from baby." Miss Parker bent down and lightly kissed her cheek.

"A kiss for you, mommy."

**TBC - Chapter 5**


	5. Chapter 5

Miss Parker sat at her office desk and hung her head low as she dozed off. Every several minutes, she tried to hold her head up, but, eventually dropped it down again. The sudden sound of a door slammed immediately had gotten her attention.

"Sleeping on the job, Parker?" Lyle drummed his fingers on her desk and waited for an answer.

"What the hell do you want?" She hissed.

"Well? Why so tired? In fact you're looking a bit drawn for the past month. You're not your usual self, you know, full of gust!" He laughed annoyingly. "So, what's keeping you up at nights? Or should I say who's keeping you out at all hours? A new man in your life? Maybe we should have a little family dinner party to meet your new guy."

"What exactly did you come in for? I haven't time for your nonsense." Miss Parker growled at her brother.

"Just a little concern over my other half." He smiled wickedly and walked out.

"Bastard!" Parker reached into her hand bag for her cell phone, flipped it open and hit number one on her speed dial. After several rings, she yelled out. "Pick up the phone, why don't you?" After what seemed like the hundredth ring, she hung up and hit the dial again. This time she was greeted by an out of breath voice.

"Where were you?" She asked the person on the other end of the line. "Is everything alright? Is the baby alright?"

Lyle stood outside of his sister's door and listened to the one-sided telephone conversation. His ears perked up like a dog's when mentioned of a baby. Well, he definitely knew it certainly wasn't Miss Parker's child.

"I hear him crying. Just lightly stroke him on his back, then, pat him, then stroke him again. He'll soon fall asleep." She waited a bit, then spoke again. "He's still crying! How long has he been like that? Now he's screaming! What a day for the sitter to be gone. Do want me home?"

Hurriedly, Lyle stepped away from her office when Parker dashed out nearly colliding into him. He stared at her and waited for an explanation.

"What? Get out of my way! I'm taking the rest of the day off!" She snarled and trotted off.

"What secrets are you hiding, Parker? And don't you worry, I'll get to the bottom of this." Softly, Lyle spoke to himself.

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Miss Parker heard his little voice screaming at the top of his lungs as she entered the house. Jarod exhaled loudly at the sight of Parker. Looking disheveled, he collapsed onto the chair as soon as she got a hold of his baby.

"Hey, hey. What's the matter? Did daddy not know how to calm you down?" She cuddled Burke closely to her chest and rocked him slowly back and forth. The baby cooed in her arms. "There you go. It wasn't so hard to keep you quiet, was it?"

"He's been crying for you." Jarod leant his head back against the sofa and closed his eyes as he spoke.

"Did you miss me, sweetie pie?" She gave the baby a kiss on the forehead.

"I sure did, hon. He wouldn't stop crying. I tried feeding him, he wasn't hungry, his diaper wasn't wet, I don't know what was wrong with him," Jarod blurted out.

"Excuse me? I was talking to the baby." Miss Parker smiled at Jarod.

"Oh." He laughed.

"When you're nervous, he can feel it and that's why he cries. The sitter will be back tomorrow. And this new "pretend" of yours..."

"A forensic anthropologist."

"Which means dealing with bones? You will be home during the nights, with us? No working late?" Burke laid quietly in her arms.

"Yes, to all of the above questions. Don't worry. I'll have time for my family." Jarod reassured her.

Parker swayed the baby in her arms. Jarod's full attention was on her. He smiled to himself and listened to her tone of voice which was unlike her usual hissing, snapping and growling. "Sorry, to have left you this morning. I really had to get to work today. And you know what? Debbie will be here to play with you this weekend. You like her, don't you? Yes, you do." Miss Parker lowered her face down to the baby and sniffed at him. "Who'd think the love of my life would be a fat bald-headed little guy? You smell so soft and fluffy that I could just eat you up. Give me a kiss. You were put here on earth just for me to love. You want to sleep with daddy and mommy tonight? All snuggled up safely between us?"

At that moment, she hadn't realized her choice of word for herself, but, Jarod heard. Mommy. She called herself mommy. When Sydney had informed them of Rachel's pregnancy, he questioned how much of an involvement would Parker have with his child. Having fathered a child by someone else, he definitely knew that she was not one who would open her heart to just anyone. He was mistaken.

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Miss Parker sat in front of the mirror and brushed her hair. Jarod embraced her from behind. He kissed her neck, then took hold of the hairbrush and continued brushing her dark locks. Jarod loved watching her, especially with the baby. She stared at him in the mirror as he ran his fingers through her hair. He pulled her up and turned her around. He embraced her. She snaked her arms around him.

He nuzzled her neck. "You smell like the baby."

Jarod pushed her gently on the bed. He laid next to her. They held hands. "Thank you." He kissed her fingers.

"For what?" They both were sprawled onto the bed and looked straight up into the ceiling, their fingers interlocked each others.

"Your love for the baby. You're the only mother he knows." Jarod turned on his side and propped his head on his hand.

"When he gets older, you will tell him about Rachel. Won't you? And that his mother never meant to leave him. I promised her that." She kissed him on the nose.

"Yes, I will." Jarod kissed her lightly on her lips.

This was the first time they've spoken of Rachel since her death and the first time Parker had said anything about their conversation with each other.

"I hated her so much, Jarod, you and her together. I thought I lost you forever. But, then, you weren't mine to begin with," she confessed. "I never thought I had a heart, until I felt it breaking. After meeting with her at the hospital, I can see why you loved her. She said we could have been friends, if only we both didn't love you and that she wasn't having your baby."

"When you asked me if I loved her, I said no. I did, but not the way I should have. And it was because I loved you. I love you."

They both were silent until Parker again spoke. "She said she'd tell mama that she had the pleasure of meeting me. She asked what her name was just so she knows who to look for. Those last moments with her, she made me cry. And for a split second, I wished I was the one in her place. She didn't deserve what happened to her. She had a child to look forward to. I, on the other hand, had no one."

Jarod and Miss Parker spoke openly about their deceased love ones.

"With Thomas, although, I was the one who told him about you, I saw how much you loved him, how much you mourned over him. And I was jealous over a dead man." Jarod told her truthfully.

"Why did you tell him about me?"

"Because, you needed someone to love you, to take care of you and since you didn't love me, Thomas would be someone good for you. And I laid many a nights thinking of the two of you together. Each night it nearly killed me when I knew you were with him. In the end, he was the one who was killed. I lost you to him. But, I didn't want him dead. I blame me for his death."

"You weren't the one who pulled that trigger. But, I've always loved you, Jarod. I guess no one had the courage to say anything."

"You loved Thomas, I knew that. But, you never had his baby. I loved Rachel, but not in a way she would have wanted me to. I told her that. What do you see when you look at Burke? Me and Rachel together?"

"I see you. You, me and the baby. I forget sometimes he's not mine. And when he hangs on to me so safe and secure, I can't imagine of ever letting him go." She wiped her tears away which unexpectedly slipped out.

"He's your baby as much as he's mine, Parker. What's wrong?" He brushed his fingers on her wet cheeks.

"I'm just happy you're both in my life. But, I'm afraid "The Centre" will find out about the baby and take him away. A "Pretender" baby."

"We've been fine so far, right? I won't let anything happen to either one of you." He assured her.

Jarod laid atop of her, when Miss Parker pushed him away. "Wait, what are we doing?"

"Well, Parker, I guess it's been a while if you have to ask." He kissed her tenderly.

"The baby," she murmured in between their kisses. "He'll wake up."

"Then you'll just have to be quiet. Don't be as loud as you normally are."

Slowly, they undressed each other. He shushed her as the sound of her voice echoed the bedroom. The next sound they heard was of the baby crying from his nursery.

"You want to get him," she whispered in his ears.

Jarod pulled himself away from her. "You woke him up."

"I owe you one," she laughed as she got off of their bed.

Jarod pulled her back and kissed her passionately. "You owe me more than one."

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"Raines and "daddy" listened to Mr. Lyle as he spoke to the both of them on his recent findings of Jarod.

Lyle gloated. "Hey, I did some checking. So, our "pretender" bedded down some profiler. She was taken ill and died in childbirth. A boy. And our Miss Parker's playing mommy to him. I knew we couldn't trust that bitch."

"Jarod's son. What more could we ask for? Get that baby! I don't care how you do it, just get him! Do it now," he wheezed and walked away pulling his oxygen tank along with him.

"Lyle, make no assumption to your sister that we know of her indiscretions. Just follow her for awhile, know of her whereabouts, then we can catch her off guard. You got that!" Mr. Parker spoke to his son with clenched teeth. "My angel has become a traitor. Doesn't she know how much that breaks my heart?"

_**Yeah, like you've got a heart, daddy.**_

**TBC - Chapter 6**


	6. Chapter 6

Jarod never knew it would have come to this. Would his rage have taken over his body, pull that trigger and kill Miss Parker? Afterall, it's been an hour since the kidnapping of Burke. He blamed her.

"Tell me a good reason why I shouldn't kill you right now." He aimed the gun directly at her.

"Because you love me and I love you. And we have to work together to get Burke back." She cried.

He continued pointing the weapon at her.

She stood frozen. It wasn't their usual "you run, I chase" games where she knew he would never take a shot at her. She watched his finger as it moved slowly, as if unsure if he would actually pull the trigger or not. Parker held her breath and waited for the click. Terror filed her eyes as his cold ones locked with hers.

Immediately, he slammed the 9mm against the table. "It's not loaded. Where's my baby? Where is he?" He screamed.

"I don't know! I don't know! You think I'd be here right now if I knew where he was?" MIss Parker was hysterical.

"Damned you, Parker! I trusted you with my baby! The reason we stayed here at my place instead of living at your house, was so no one and I mean no one could have found our destination! How could have you been so careless? You brought that no-good brother of yours and his goons right into my home for the taking!"

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I thought it was you at the door..."

"And you decide to open up? I have my own keys. How many times have I reminded you not to answer the door without knowing who it is first? How many times?" Jarod grabbed her arm, but, quickly released her. "How could you have possibly watched and have them take my son away?"

"Jarod! They had a gun to my head!" She pointed a finger to her temple.

Flashback

"Who's at that door, huh? Who could that be? It's daddy. Yes, it is. Let's go let him in! What are you doing here? Get out! Don't you dare take him! Let go! Let go of my baby!"

"Shut up, Parker!" You don't want this rugrat see bullets plugged into that pretty head of yours, do you?"

End Of Flashback

"You just let them take my boy away! Was he crying? Was he? Answer me!"

"Yes! Yes, he was crying. I-I couldn't...they had a gun to my head! They had a gun to my head." She pleaded her case.

"And not to call the police? I don't know why I agreed not to call them."

"Jarod, you...me...we have to get Burke back. Sydney, Broots...you know they'll help us."

"Sydney? Sydney? What the hell is he going to do? He couldn't even help me out of "The Centre"! And Broots? I don't even want to think about that bumbling technician!"

Parker reached out and tried to comfort Jarod.

"Go to hell, Parker! The only reason I don't kick you out right now, is because you're going to help me get back my son!"

"You think I wanted this? I've told you my greatest fear was them finding out about the baby!"

The "pretender" flung a sofa cushion across the room which cracked a vase making its way down on the carpet. "You could have left "The Centre"! You think "daddy" wouldn't have found out about Burke? He's just an innocent child. What do they want with him?" Jarod asked, although he knew why, tears fell down his face.

"Because you're their "pretender". Miss Parker softly said. "And if they can't have you, your baby's the next closest thing to you."

"You really don't know how I feel. You don't know how it feels to have a missing child. Because he's not yours."

"Burke is mine as much as yours!" She corrected him.

"Last time I looked, you weren't the one who gave birth to him! As far as I'm concerned, you're just my son's babysitter!" He told her coldly. "I'm glad he's not yours. To even think of having the Parker blood in his veins just wants me to puke right now!"

"I nurtured him! I mothered him for six months! He's mine!" She screamed.

"If he was yours, your flesh and blood, would you have easily given him to them? You sang him lullabies, even called yourself mommy! Still doesn't make you his mother! Rachel is! I guess your promise to her was never meant for you to keep! Instead of keeping him safe and sound, away from harm, it's just the opposite. He's not safe, sound or away from harm!" Jarod rambled. "And when I get him back, I'll make sure you'll never have any contact with him! Nothing! And it will be over my dead body!"

"I'll fight you for him, Jarod! I used to say you were one half of the missing puzzle. I was the other half. But, you know what? We're just two wrong pieces of the puzzle. Together we'll never make it as a whole. No use trying to make it fit. I could live without you! But, not him! I can't live without Burke!" Miss Parker wiped her eyes as she attacked him.

"I thought we were the picture perfect family. I was mistaken. I'm headed back to "The Centre." Jarod picked up her Smith and Wesson off of the table, angrily inserted a 15 round clip to the 9mm and tucked the pistol into the waistband of his jeans. "You joining me? Or do I do this alone? And whatever I do, don't stand in my way! Because I'm planning on shooting my way into "The Centre". And I will not hesitate to shoot, even if that person is you!"

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Burke wailed as his little eyes looked around for a familiar face in the unfamiliar setting. He stuffed his tiny fingers in his mouth as a million tears fell out of his frightened little eyes.

"Looking for daddy? Well, he's not here. He'll be at "The Centre" looking for you. But, you won't be there. And my Angel, that mommy dearest of yours, is not your mommy. She never was. Even your own mommy didn't want you, cause she left you for good." The chairman of the board growled as the little six months old turned quickly and jolted up to see Mr. Parker's face so close to his. He screamed.

"What'd you expect? No one cares about you! Nobody does." Raines as usual, wheezed as he caught his breath and poked his ugliness of a face into the crib. The baby screamed in horror and turned red as his cries of distress continued.

Mr. Parker turned to Lyle. "Make yourself useful. Shut that little wailer up." He commanded to his thumbless son.

Burke's puppy dogged eyes tearfully met Lyle's. He needed comforting and somehow turned to him.

"The poor little mite has no other way of communicating." Lyle felt sorry for the infant and surprised himself as he bravely spoke to his father.

"Just shut him up or we'll do it for him!" Mr. Parker said as he and Raines walked out of their secret hideaway. Lyle watched from the window until he could no longer see them in clear view as they drove away.

"What's the matter, little guy? Did those old geezers scare you? It's okay. They won't hurt you. Not if I can help it." Lyle comforted Burke. "Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to have kidnapped you, huh?"

The baby quieted in his arms and tugged tightly at Lyle's shirt for safety. "Don't do that. You're not supposed to like me. I'm evil. I was the one who took you away from Mommy Parker."

Burke gurgled softly and found comfort in Lyle's arms. "Close your eyes and sleep. Let the sandman sprinkle you with dream dusk, so you can dream. Okay, little one?" **_What the hell did I get myself into?"_**

**TBC - Chapter 7**


	7. Chapter 7

Miss Parker felt a sharp pain in her heart for the love of the baby. She felt the thumping in her chest and hoped it would have drowned out her loud cries. Jarod was silent, which frightened her. His hands gripped the steering wheel tightly, his eyes were focused on the road as he drove like a maniac. The light had turned red, when he nearly hit the car in front of him due to a sudden stop. Jarod blasted his horn impatiently. He backed up, switched lanes, at the change of the light to green, he overtook the guy who had been in front of him. He felt her hand touch him lightly on his thigh.

"Jarod," Parker spoke nervously. "Please slow down a bit. It won't do Burke any good if we're both killed in a traffic accident."

The "pretender" stepped harder on the gas pedal and weaved in and out of traffic angrily. He said nothing. She shut her eyes tightly, held her breath and readied herself for a crash. Jarod felt his body falling apart. His strong arm pushed her hand away from her touch.

After what seemed like forever, Jarod screeched his car to a halt right in front of "The Centre". Those eyes of his glared into hers. Terrified, Miss Parker sat there unable to move in wonderment of his irises which gazed upon her. She only could imagine what thoughts passed behind his eyes. She knew at that moment, no matter what, their relationship had already been destroyed.

"You really are something else, you know that?" He gently stroked her face. "I never felt this way about anyone before. I've always loved you. I've always wanted you. I questioned myself if you ever felt the same. I wanted you forever." He opened the car door, then looked over his shoulders. "The love we once shared, the one I dreamed of feeling, of finding and finally felt and found, is no more. When I get my son back, you're out of our lives."

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Sydney walked out of his office to the sounds of gunshots and commotions. Broots trailed behind him.

"Get down!" Someone yelled. A bullet narrowly missed "old man Parker" and hit the wall. Raines stood next to him as the two clowns raised their hands up.

"Angel, what are you doing? I'm your father." His voiced trembled.

Miss Parker stayed along side of Jarod. "Daddy, where's the baby? Tell me where he is." She begged and pointed to her partner-in-crime. "He will shoot you if you don't tell us where he is."

Jarod pointed the gun into the air and shot to get their attention. "How dare you! To take an innocent child! Like this hell-hole did to me. Give him back! And I mean now!" He pointed the gun to them, ready to pull the trigger. The sound of his mentor's voice made him turn slightly.

"Jarod, put the gun down. If you kill them, you'll never get your son back. Or know where he is. You weren't brought up to kill."

"No!" He raised the gun above his head and pulled the trigger. "Surprise to see me here, Sydney? To just waltz right in? I'm not leaving until I get my baby back."

"Jarod, you've lost your way and you need to find your way back."

"Back? Back to what? This life I was brought up in? The hell with these guys." He aimed the barrel of the gun into Mr. Parker's chest. "You first." He then turned to Raines. "And then you're next. And whoever gets in my way."

"Where is he, daddy? Where's my baby?" Miss Parker pleaded with her father.

"I'll make a deal with you." Jarod waved the gun at "daddy". "Her. You get your daughter for good, if you give me back my son."

She felt her heart crushed.

"He's not here. He's in a safe place." Raines volunteered the information. "I guess he doesn't want you with him, Angel," Raines smirked.

"I'm not your Angel," she hissed, as she turned to Jarod, Sydney, Broots and "daddy". "I'm nobody's angel," she said sadly.

Courageously, Broots spoke up. "Hey, Jarod. We'll help you find the baby. You helped me get custody of Debbie and I promise you we'll get your baby back. I...I'll call the police. They'll be charged for kidnapping and endangerment to a minor. Let me call them, okay? Okay, Jarod?" Nervously, he waited for an answer as his insides shook with fear.

Still, Jarod pointed the 9mm at them. "Make it snappy, before I change my mind," he growled at Broots.

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Jarod couldn't cry. He was beyond tears. His pains and emotions had turned off. With Miss Parker, all hours of crying had not been enough. Burke was worth all of the pain she felt. She was one who never seemed to have cared about anything or anyone, now, unable to hide behind her mask, she broke down. There was a time that all Jarod had to do was to hold her in her arms and her pains and sorrows would have disappeared. But, not this time. He was emotionless and watched her, never once had they tried to comfort each each. He wished for her pain to turn to numbness.

For a split second, as Miss Parker crumbled down to the floor, he wanted nothing more than to comfort her. But, only for just a second. How he would go on without her, was a question he quickly diminished in his thoughts. He hated her at that very instant for being a "Parker", for everything she was to him and especially hated himself for still loving her.

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Lyle held a sleeping Burke in his arms when Jarod kicked the door open. Startled, unable to move, he saw his son snuggled in the comfort of that psycho's arms. The baby let out a cry.

"Shh," Lyle cuddled him. Slowly, he rocked the baby back and forth and quieted him down immediately. "Your daddy's here."

He took several slow steps towards Jarod, unsure of the pretender's sudden move, he stopped, then continued. "He's a good boy. I-I fed him, changed his diaper. I rocked him to sleep." Lyle handed Burke to his father. "He's a good baby. They made me do it. I may be a lot of things, Jarod, but, I would never harm a child."

Miss Parker, Sydney and Broots along with the police arrived a couple of minutes later.

"You, bastard! Did you hurt him, huh? Did you?" She slapped her other half across the face, not once, but twice. The "ice queen" attacked her brother. With all of her strength, she grabbed him by the neck of his shirt and slammed him against the wall. With the help of Sydney and Broots, they pried her away from her twin.

"Tell her, Jarod. I took great care of him."

"He did." It was all he had said.

"So, you're condoning to what he had done?" Parker hollered at Jarod.

"He's fine." He looked down at his son and not at Miss Parker. "You want to hold him or not?"

This time her cries were of happiness. "I've been so worried about you. Mommy's been so worried about you." She walked away from the commotion and cradled Burke tightly. "Thought I'd never see you again. I'm so sorry, very sorry. I should have taken better care of you. I promise you, nothing like this will ever happen to you again. Those bad guys at "The Centre" will all go to jail. Oh, my baby! Finally, I've got you in my arms again. I'm never letting you go."

Jarod joined her in the corner. His demeanor had changed from a madman to cool, calm and collected.

"Parker, I meant what I said. I don't want you in our lives anymore." His voice was soft.

"What?" Her tears of happiness turned to heartbreak.

"I'll never be able to forgive you for all of this. I've forgiven you for a lot of things, but, not this. Not when it concerns my son's life."

"I need both of you in my life. Don't you know that? And I'm not giving up without a fight. You're not taking him away from me!" She yelled for all to hear. "It would be so easy to just walk away. But, Burke made me love him! He needed me as much as I needed him!"

"Lower your voice. You're frightening him. Kiss him one last time before we leave."

"No. Please don't do this to me. I'm the only mother he knows. He's mine." She hugged him possessively and protectively like a mama bear shielding her cubs away from danger.

"No, Parker, you're forgetting. He's mine. He was never yours."

"I didn't give birth to him. I know who's name is on that birth certificate, but, I'm his mother! Don't you understand? Jarod?"

"What happened to the Miss Parker I knew? The one who never cared about anyone else but herself. I worried you could never love anyone to your fullest. Now, I worry what you feel for the baby is much too much. You have changed. But..."

"But, what? I can't see him anymore? I'm just supposed to pretend he never existed in my life? I don't do pretends as well as you do! When I failed, you saved me. You made me trust you. You made me believe in you. Sometimes the best things in life are the ones you least expect. I never expected you and the baby in my life. I love you! I love the both of you!"

"I can't. It's not a matter of love. There's no "us" anymore, Miss Parker."

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Jarod stared into his son's eyes, his beautiful dark eyelashes fluttered back at his father. He looked up from his crib and looked around as if awaiting for Parker to enter his room. It had been nearly a week since he saw his mommy. And on those first three days, she called, each time it had always been the same heartbreaking answer.

"Not a good time, Parker. We'll see. I'll think about it." Jarod said repeatedly, then hung up.

She hadn't called since then. Jarod had begun to feel uncomfortably worried. There was no way, she would suddenly cut herself out of Burke's life. She possibly couldn't have just stopped loving the baby. But, then, he made it clear to her that she was not welcomed in his home or their life ever again.

"Where is your mommy?" He spoke to Burke like he understood every work that had been said to him. "You think mommy would mine if we paid her a visit? Show her how much you've grown in just a week." Jarod picked him up. "Would you like that? To go see her? Your mommy?"

At the sound of mommy, he wiggled in his daddy's arms and smiled. "Let's go put on that baseball cap of yours from her, okay? She'll be happy to see you. And don't you worry, she definitely loves you. It's me, that she doesn't. Afterall, I did push her over the edge. She'll surely shoot me with her Smith and Wesson. No, wait, I still have it with me. Whew! Don't want her shooting your old man, do you?"

Burke looked at his father innocently. "Don't look at me like that. Okay, okay. So, it's my fault. You know, you do say things to the ones you love when you're angry with each other. But, not like the things I told her. I was really cruel. So glad you can't talk yet, you'd give me a tongue-lashing like your mommy."

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Miss Parker hung on to a picture of the three of them. Her fingers traced the outline of their faces. She smiled a sad smile. This was once her family. They were no more, but only a piece of lifeless portrait framed in sterling silver. Her world had been turned upside down. Everything inside of her died. She'd awaken in the middle of the night in a cold, panic sweat and cried out loud, then, muffled her cries into her pillow.

Jarod and Burke were the centre of her world. She reminisced back of how it felt when Jarod had loved her. It magnified her pain.

**TBC - Chapter 8**


	8. Chapter 8

More than half a day had gone by and still Miss Parker had done nothing but stayed affixed on her living room sofa. She laid curled up as a ball waiting for life to pass her by. One week was such a long time to have been away from the bundle of joy she now called her own. She'd never been away from him before. It was slowly killing her softly on the affect Burke had on her. Thoughts of that dreadful day, repeatedly played in her head. Jarod had blamed her for everything. All she's ever been was a loving mother to his son and to have treated her so cruelly, certainly felt like he had ripped her heart apart. Instead of sadness and heartbreak, she had begun to feel resentful towards him.

Parker headed to the bathroom, stood under the hot sprays of water as if it would suddenly wash away the twisted knots in her tensed body. She was a happy child, up until her mother's death. Unhappiness followed her all through her growing years, feeling like an unwanted child. Jarod and Burke were the family she'd ever wanted that had filled her void in life.

Something had to be done about situations which surrounded her problems with Jarod. She readied herself for a fight of her life. She was dressed in blue jeans, a red tee shirt and walking shoes, instead of her usual skin tight leather outfits and three inch stiletto heels. Her face was flawless. There were no traces of makeup on her skin. Her hair had been pulled back into a ponytail. Miss Parker grabbed her handbag and fumbled for her car keys. As she opened her front door, startled, she let out a scream. Burke giggled, jumped up and down in his daddy's arms and stretched his little hands at the sight of her.

"What are you doing here?" She spoke in a high pitched voice unlike her very own. Immediately, she scooped him away from Jarod and embraced him tightly. "I was just coming to see you, sweetie!"

"I guess we both had the same idea," Jarod replied stuffing his hands in the pockets of his pants.

Parker completely ignored him and focused her attention on the baby. "Look at you! Just look at you! You're a big boy now! Your little cap fits you perfectly! Did daddy finally decide to let you out of the house? Are you eating well? Yes, you are! Look how fat you've gotten!" She softly pinched his cheek and walked into the living room leaving Jarod to stand alone. He held in his temper and closed the door.

"I'm glad you're here. I was just about to go and kidnap you!" She let out a laugh to the baby.

"Okay, cut the crap, Parker. I'm standing right here. It's not like he drove himself here. The least you could do is acknowledge me."

She felt like screaming at him, but, instead, cuddled the baby and spoke softly in her throaty voice as so not to frighten him in her usual "ice queen" manner.

"All these years, Jarod, you've always been there for me, even if I hadn't wanted you to. And when we finally got together, I didn't think I'd be able to live without you. But, these several days, things changed. I've changed. I really don't want to hold on to you forever. You're free to go. I'm letting you go. I just don't want to be away from the baby. I'm the only mother he knows and I want to set up arrangements with you for visitation rights. I can't be without him. Don't severe my relationship with Burke, just because things didn't work out for us. Give mommy a kiss." She puckered her lips at the baby as he cupped his hands on her face and gave Parker a wet smooch.

"Parker, I..." Jarod bit his lower lip lightly. "I apologize for treating you the way I did. I was angry. I..."

She interrupted abruptly. "You were cruel, okay! Heartless! Lyle had a gun to my head! And I..." She raised her voice.

"I know." The "pretender" fidgeted.

Her voice softened for the baby's sake. "I couldn't do a thing. I had no control of what "The Centre" was going to do. I didn't know. It's not like I was in on their plans. I know what I promised Rachel. I promised to take care of her son. Not my son. Her son. Heaven knows how many times you've thrown that in my face. And you wanted a trade off? You told "daddy" me for the baby. At that point, I knew you didn't want me in your life. Well, surprise. Neither do I. But, I want this little guy. Oh, and furthermore! You could have killed us on the road that day! What the hell were you thinking? Maybe you want to join Rachel now! But, I bloody don't! Someone has to be here to take care of Burke! "

"You're right. There's no excuse for my behavior. I didn't...I wasn't thinking. I thought I was the only one hurting, I didn't take into consideration on your feelings..."

"Yes! You didn't take into consideration that I had any feelings at all! When they took Burke, my whole world collapsed!"

"How do I unblock the pain I've caused you? Burke's not the only one who missed you, you know." His voice softened to a whisper.

"I hate to love you. My heart only has so much room for love. And right now, I have no room for you, Jarod."

"I love you. I never stopped."

Miss Parker turned her attention to Burke. "Are you happy to see me? I'm happy to see you! Did you miss me. I missed you! And you know mommy loves you very much!" She walked as far away as possible from Jarod.

"Okay, I deserved that!" He yelled out. "You're going to make me beg for forgiveness, aren't you?"

She quicky turned and marched over to him. "No. No need to. Because I'm never forgiving you." Burke ran his hand on her face. "Yes, it's me, baby. Mommy." She delighted his touches on her as he tried to shove his tiny fingers into her mouth. Miss Parker quickly switched on and off as she spoke to Burke and then to Jarod. "Stop that, silly. Do you want me to just swallow you up? Well, I'm waiting for an answer. About visitation rights? How about if I have him every weekend?"

Jarod stood in silence. He nodded.

"Thank you, Jarod. I thought you'd never let me see him again. How long can I have him for today? Could you come back in the early evening? I want to spend as much time with him. Would you like that, baby? Spend some time with me. Make up for our lost time together?"

"Uh, well, actually, Parker, I thought maybe you'd like to join us. We were planning on a trip to the zoo." He smiled, although, it seemed he was almost afraid to. "I packed a bag for him for the day."

She almost eagerly agreed to it, but, caught herself. Thoughts of that horrible day flashed through her head. His hurtful words entered her mind. "I don't do family things," she told him coldly.

It pretty much killed any possibilities of a deeper relationship with Parker. "So, do you want to just cut whatever ties we've had with each other? "

"As long it's with you and not the baby." Her blue eyes shot up at him. "I can live without you. But, not this guy."

"It's done!" Jarod raised his voice.

She walked into her bedroom and came out with a quilt.

"Here, spread this out on the floor so he's free to roll around," Parker commanded. Like a dutiful husband, Jarod did as he was asked.

"There you go." She laid Burke down on the floor. "You can play while daddy gets your bag out of the car, sweetie."

When Parker stood up, Jarod pinned her against the wall in his quickest movement. His face was inches away from hers. She felt his hot breath on her face. His chestnut colored eyes stared into her sky blue ones. He kissed her hungrily. She kissed him back. His body crushed hers into the wall. Her tongue slipped into his mouth. Suddenly, she pushed him away and screamed.

"What in bloody hell are you doing?"

Jarod pushed her again, his body pressed hard against her. He trailed soft kisses which started from her ears, down to her neck, then to her lips. Her arms snaked around his back, under his shirt. When he finally pulled away, Parker gasped for air.

"Why'd you kiss me like that?" She asked, trying to catch her breath.

"I thought it would shut you up a bit."

"Well, get away from me." He nearly stumbled backwards when Parker shoved him.

"I'm sorry for everything, for letting you down, putting you down. And I know you wouldn't do anything to hurt the baby. Whatever you need, whatever you want, I'll give you, Parker. I won't stand in your way. And if it's me you don't want in your life, I'll just have to accept it."

Miss Parker glanced down at the baby, then moved her eyes to Jarod. She doesn't remember who initiated the next move. But, she felt her mouth on his. His lips engulfed hers as he pulled her tightly against him. Slipping his hand under her tee-shirt, he fumbled for her bra hook.

"It's in the front, the hook's in front," she whispered. "Wait, the baby."

"What about him?" He asked as he quickly unfastened her bra. "He's fine."

As they embraced, desire coursed through their blood. Parker felt the warmth of his hand as his fingers gently massaged her left breast. Her soft moans ended abruptly as Jarod stepped back away from her.

"What? Don't stop now," she begged and pulled his hand back onto her breast.

Panic crossed his face. "What the hell is this?" He asked. His fingers firmly pressed above her nipple. Quickly, she moved his hand away.

Pulling down her shirt, she walked away from him. "Nothing. It's nothing."

He caught hold of her arm and pulled her into the bedroom. "I felt something. Off with your tee shirt, Parker."

"Why? I'm fine! Just fine! It's nothing! I'm fine." She repeated and pulled on to her shirt tightly.

"What the hell? You know what I'm talking about!"

She stood in silence, then headed out of her bedroom door. "I'd better check on the baby."

"Get back in here!" His temperature rose to a point of explosion. "The baby's fine! But, you're not! How long? How long have you had that..this..." His voiced cracked.

"Lump, Jarod. It's called a lump." She turned to him and crossed her arms in front of her.

"How long?" He swallowed hard and waited for an answer.

Parker shrugged. "I don't remember. A month or two, maybe longer. I don't remember."

"I've never felt it before, Parker." She backed away as he took careful steps to her.

"Don't touch me." He did and held on to her tightly. "I've never noticed it before."

"It's because you're partial to my right side," she answered softly.

"How stupid can you be! Have you made an appointment yet?" Jarod released her and stood an arm's length away.

"No. I'm fine. Don't worry about it."

"Worry? Worry! I'm already worried about you!"

Jarod walked to the night stand and nearly yanked the telephone off. "Call now! You make an appointment now! What were you thinking? Or were you thinking at all? Burke's already lost one mother! He doesn't need to lose another! I don't want to lose you! Are you pregnant?"

"What? No! What are you talking about"?

"Then, what's your reason for not having it checked out? You think it would just go away on its own? I know the last few days seemed like I didn't want you in my life, in our lives, but..." He stopped to raise his arm to wipe his tears on the sleeve of his shirt. A rush of memories ran through his mind of their lives from the very beginning.

Tightly, Parker embraced him and whispered. "Okay, okay. I'll have it checked. I'm sorry. I should have done it earlier. I'm just so afraid what it might be. I've been thinking of Rachel a lot these last several weeks. And I don't think I'd be as strong as her, if..." She cried in his arms.

"What am I going to do without you?" His eyes watered freely. He then kissed her cheek and tasted her tears.

Parker kissed him lightly on his lips. Each time she held on to him tighter, he embraced her even more. "Okay, it's okay. I'm sorry for what I'm putting you through. Maybe you should have stayed away. I'm sorry."

He pulled her onto the bed and cradled her warmly against his chest. They both cried out for her pain. Her watery eyes stared up at him. "We'll get through this," he told her. But, yet, he hadn't believed a word he said.

Jarod was afraid that history had just repeated itself. He couldn't be without Parker for even a moment. He didn't want to lose her. He could never be strong enough to let her go or to ever tell her goodbye.

**TBC - Chapter 9**


	9. Chapter 9

Jarod pulled Parker into him as they laid in bed. She closed her eyes and felt his warmth. The soft beating of his heart was comfort to her.

"I'm glad to be back here. Nothing else matters but the both of you." She took his hand and kissed his fingers. He was quiet. "Jarod?"

Parker sat up. She saw silence in his eyes. Tears gathered in his chocolate browns and trailed down his cheeks. She delicately wiped them away with a gentle touch and a soft embrace.

"You are the pages to my book, of my life." She whispered.

His eyes locked with hers. He hung on to her. "I love you, Parker. Don't ever leave me. Me and the baby. What would we do without you?"

"Is this what love is all about? To feel each other's pain?'' She stroked his face.

"Love is a precious thing. With the slightest slip up, It can be taken away so easily. Shattered into a million pieces." He looked straight up at the ceiling and not a her.

She held back her tears. "If things don't work out for me, I mean, if...Jarod, we've got to talk about certain things."

"Things? What things?" He turned to her. His eyes widened and he looked into those beautiful blue sapphire-colored eyes of hers.

"If by chance something goes wrong...if they find something..." Parker was cutoff by Jarod.

"They'll probably do a biopsy, when it's remove...the lump, cyst..there will be options to consider, but, the doctors will do what they feel is right."

She raised her voice at him. "No! It'll be my choice. Have me kiss my breast goodbye?"

"You think you'll be a lesser woman without one of these?" He softly touched her breasts. "I'll love you no matter what."

"Once you feel something, it's usually too late by then."

"Not always. It has to be checked, if it's malignant or benign. I can't believe with all these modern technology, you didn't go in immediately for that checkup. Why, Parker? Why?" His anger was slowly creeping in. He moved away from her.

"Can you promise me something?" Miss Parker inched herself closer to Jarod.

His arms laid across his chest. "Depends on what."

She ran her fingers up and down his arm. "Nothing. Just hold me, please." She cried.

He sighed loudly. "Come here." He tenderly embraced her. "It's okay, honey, it'll be alright."

"What is it with us? Will we ever be happy together? Maybe we were never meant to be." The one absolute emotion Parker had never wanted to feel was feeling sorry for herself. She wanted to be strong for Jarod and Burke, but, slowly, she felt her world crashing down.

"I could just run and hide," she said. A warm teardrop fell on his chest.

"You can't, Parker. You're in my world now, mines and Burke's. We're not letting you go."

"I'm definitely running out of time here, Jarod." She speculated.

"I'd like to say there's nothing to be afraid of, but, I'm terrified."

"Of me ceasing to exist? You think I'm going to die?"

"Yes too both questions."

"What?" She had a sharp tone to her voice.

"We're all going to die eventually, Parker. But, not right now. You have a lifetime of "us" waiting for you."

She wept. "Who's going to take care of the baby, take care of you? Burke will feel cheated. He's never known Rachel and he won't remember me. He'll need my advice on everything. I won't be there for his everything. Rachel died knowing I was going to take care of her baby. I won't know who's going to take care of my baby when I die."

"Stop it," he scolded. "I love you. Everything will be alright. You're a wonderful mother to Burke. He couldn't ask for a better mommy. You haven't even gone to the doctor as of yet, so, quit diagnosing yourself." He kissed her temples. "You'll be alright. I promise." Inside, Jarod was petrified of the outcome.

"I know it's my first night back here..."

"Back home," Jarod corrected her.

"Back home, but, could the baby sleep with us? I just want the two of you snuggled up with me tonight."

"Yes. Go get our son," he smiled.

How could Jarod fight his heart for what he felt for Parker? After the many years of undeniable attraction, what he thought would finally be a lifelong happiness with her, somehow, again, the Parker curse had forced its way into them.

Parker kissed the baby's forehead. "Jarod." She laid Burke on the bed and slipped his nightshirt off." "The baby feels a bit warm. Get the thermometer. He's got a fever. What's the matter, sweetie pie? Feeling under the weather tonight?"

Jarod stuck the thermometer into the baby's ear.

"What's his temperature? Okay, sweetie, alright, shhh, you'll be alright." He fussed a bit, being interrupted by his sleep.

"101," Jarod replied. "I'll get his medicine."

"We'll cool you down, okay? Here's daddy. Say, ah." Burke frowned and smacked his lips.

"There. That wasn't so bad, was it? Now drink your water like a good boy. It'll keep you cool, my precious." He sucked on his bottle and gulped down his water.

She turned to Jarod worriedly. "He needs a lukewarm bath to get down his temperature."

Parker held Burke while he splashed around in the tub. "He doesn't seem to be fussy. In fact he's enjoying his little tub bath."

He cried when he was taken out of the tub. "Oh, sweetie. You can't stay in there all night. You'll get all shriveled up like a raisin. There you go. Nice and cool, now."

Jarod bundled him up with a soft fluffy towel. "Stop your crying. Mommy and I want you to sleep with us tonight, okay? All cuddled up next to us, alright? Would you like that?"

After she dressed him in a cool nightshirt, he was laid on the bed. Burke was sandwiched in between his parents and quieted down.

Parker caressed his forehead softly. She pressed her lips on his hand, then, gently rubbed his tummy. "I love you, sweetie pie." Smiling at Jarod, she whispered. "I love you, too, for the rest of my life."

"I know you do. You are so amazing. Motherhood just comes out naturally for you, doesn't it? We love you, too, mommy."

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It was Monday morning and Parker sat nervously awaiting her turn. Jarod interlocked his fingers with hers. No one spoke. Thoughts went through his head. He had a helpless feeling. What could he possibly do to make her pain and terror go away? Nothing. This was not a pretend where he suddenly could change the course of people's lives. This was Parker's life. A life he's loved forever.

Cancer. She was petrified of the word. Breast Cancer. She watched other women who had gone in and out of the room and wondered how many had just gotten the dreadful news. A young nurse in purple scrubs walked into the waiting room. Her eyes roamed around as Miss Parker's name was called out. She held her breath and stood up.

"Hey, it'll be alright." Jarod kissed her before she left.

Led into the examining room, Miss Parker undressed from above her waist. She walked up to the machine. The technologist positioned and compressed her breast gently and slowly, one at a time, between two plates, until she no longer could have taken a breath. Two pictures were taken of each side. Compression was necessary to flatten her breast although it nearly made Parker dropped down on her knees due to the pain.

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Parker looked out of the window. Jarod wrapped his arms around her from behind. "You alright?" He whispered.

She wiped her tears and faced him. He laced strands of her hair around his finger and kissed her forehead.

"At least Debbie will be around as a babysitter when I'm gone. She could teach my baby a lot of things. She could help out after school and on weekends. A really great help she'll be for you."

"What the hell are you talking about? What would I be needing Debbie for? Are you planning on going somewhere?" Tired of her pessimism, Jarod shouted.

"Something's wrong, I can feel it."

"If you felt something was wrong, why the hell did you take so long? Or would you have ever gone to have it checked? I felt it! That's the only reason you decided to have it checked out! What were you thinking?"

"Alright! We've been through this already. Alright, alright, alright! Just call me stupid! And now I'm the one suffering!" Parker screamed, but, then lowered her voice. "I'm sorry. You and Burke are the ones suffering now, because you don't know how long I'll be around."

"You're not dying, alright! You're not dying! You just took the damned test! We'll just have to be patient and wait, probably several days or so."

"The telephone's ringing!" She hollered at him and headed to answer it.

"I can hear it! I'm not deaf! Heaven only knows why I'm not hard of hearing from the way we've been yelling at each other!"

He knew. He knew by the somber sound of her voice and the look in her eyes that it was bad news. Parker quietly laid down the receiver.

"What is it? Who was that? Parker? Who was on the telephone?" Jarod asked, but yet, he knew.

"Well, that was the doctor's office. He wants to see me the first thing tomorrow morning regarding my test. Now, tell me again how you won't need Debbie to babysit for you?" She panicked.

"You don't know what he's going to say."

"It doesn't take a genius to know that the only time your doctor calls you into his office after taking some tests is to tell you bad news! I've got to tell Burke I'm very sorry I'm sick." Painfully she cried out. "Mommy's very sorry she's sick!"

Jarod roughly pulled her into him. "Stop it, just stop it."

Parker fought him. "Don't touch me! Don't touch me! Don't touch me," she cried. He embraced her tightly. She tried to push him away, but, finally clung on to him for comfort.

"Tell me what can I do for you." Jarod's voice was barely audible. "Tell me what you need."

"I need you here with me. I need you to tell me you love me and hold on to me and never let me go. I need you to be my everything."

"Oh, Parker. I'll be here for you. I love you and I'll hold on to you forever and never let you go. I"ll be your everything as much as you're my everything."

**TBC - Chapter 10**


	10. Chapter 10

"Ma...ma?" Burke called out. "Ma...ma," he cried. "Ma-ma. Mama?"

"Jarod!" Parker opened her eyes quickly and shook him out of his sleep. "He said mama. Mama. He's calling his mama. That's me," she said excitedly. "It's me he's calling." She hurriedly into the nursery.

There was no word she could have explained what she felt today. The joy of awakening to have heard Burke's first word had momentarily erased worries of her health problem.

Burke pulled at his mother's hair and jumped up and down in her arms.

Jarod rubbed his son's back. "Oh, you're just a mama's boy, aren't you?" He said teasingly.

"Ma...ma." Again, he repeated and laid his head on Parker's shoulder. "Ma...ma," he squeaked and stroked her face.

"I never expected you two as being the best things in my life. The "Pretender" and his son. And I would have it no other way. I..we have to face the hard truth, that...I might be sick, Jarod, I might be..."

Jarod hugged his family. "We're here for you. Aren't we, Burke? We'll be here for mommy."

"Mama."

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They held hands as they were seated in front of the doctor. Parker lowered her eyes. Jarod studied his face. He was a pretty good judge of character and could almost always read people's faces. This time he couldn't.

The physician flipped several pages of her chart, then, laid it down on his desk. The doctor took his glasses off and rubbed his eyes before addressing them. "There is a lump on your left breast." He looked at Parker, then at Jarod, then back at his patient again. "We need to find out...we need to do further testing to look more into it, preferably within the next few days."

"The baby..."

"You have a baby? How old is your child?"

"He's seven months," Parker answered.

"Well, the sooner we get it done, the sooner you'll be back home with him."

"Doctor," Jarod began, "with your other patients, what is the percentage of a lump like hers that it's..."

"Let's not go there right now. We'll talk more once we diagnose it. But, for now, we should be making arrangements for your stay at the hospital. Alright, you go home to your little one and I'll see you in a few days."

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Their ride home was quiet. Parker sighed leaning her head against the window.

"You hungry?" Jarod broke the silence. "We should pick up some burgers and fries. Honey, call Debbie to tell her we're picking up lunch."

"Debbie is such a great help. Burke loves her. You know she'll always be around, Broots and Sydney, too."

He kept his eyes on the road. "Uh-huh."

"They'll be a great help when I'm no longer around."

The "pretender" couldn't take it any anymore. Suddenly, he stopped his car in a stall fronting a park. "Look at me, Parker." She didn't. "I said look at me!"

"What?" She snapped.

"Stop it! Just stop it! I'm sick and tired of your nonsense talk! Nothing's going to happen to you! Nothing!" He raised his voice.

"Tell me! Tell me you haven't thought of me dying! Because I have. Every time you look at me, I know what you're thinking!"

"Pretending to be a mind reader, Parker? I'm the "pretender" here."

"Quit pretending everything is going to be alright. There's a huge chance that I might not be! Jarod! Let's face the truth I might be dying!"

"Alright! I've thought about it! I've thought of you dying! Is that what you want to hear? I've thought of you dying and leaving us alone! And I can't do a damn thing about it! I can't help you! I want to help you, but, I can't! I wasn't trained to do that! I wasn't trained to not have any feelings for you! I wasn't trained to not worry about you and not to love you! You've always been a part of me and I can't see you not ever without me."

Jarod stormed out of the car. Her heart shattered as she watched him walk away. Parker jumped out, slammed the car door and ran to him. She yanked his arm for him to stop. "Where are you going?"

"Anywhere!" He yelled jerking his arm away from her.

"Jarod!" She grabbed his arms. He hadn't realized she had such a strong grip when he tried to struggle out of her hold and couldn't.

"Let go, Parker! Let go of me!"

"No!" She screamed. "I'm not letting you go!" She held him tighter and hugged him. He struggled a bit, but, she hung to him as tightly as she could, that he finally returned her embrace.

"Don't die on me, Parker. Don't die on us," he cried.

"I'll try not to. I can't promise you that. But, I'll try not to," she said as she comforted him. "I've cried so much, I haven't given you much chance to cry. I know you're angry. I love you. Let's go home so we can cry together."

**TBC - Chapter 11**


	11. Chapter 11

She stayed up most of the night. By the time she had finally fallen asleep, their alarm rang. Reality sunk in. In a few hours, she'd be in the hospital where Fate would be the one to make a decision on her life.

"Why me?" Parker asked.

Nothing Jarod had said made her feel any better. He told her she'd be fine. She screamed at him. "You don't know that, do you? What about Burke?"

He promised to take care of him. Instead of being rest assured, she hollered. "You think I'm going to die? You'll find someone else for you and she'll take care of my baby!"

Jarod tried his best, but, Parker was so petrified that she was beyond comfort. Having calmed down only when Jarod brought in the baby to her, she cuddled him as if never wanting to let go.

She spoke soothingly to Burke. He stared at her trying to comprehend what was being said.

"Hey," she kissed him on his cheek. "Mommy has to go away. Oh, but, don't you worry, Debbie and Uncle Brootsie will be here to look after you until daddy comes home. Only, I won't be home for awhile. You see, the doctor has to take something out and in a few days, I'll come home to you. I promise. I'll be fine. I have to be. Nothing's going to separate us. Because I'll be around to take care of you, help you celebrate your birthdays, be there cheering for you when you make those home runs and..." She wiped her tears and smiled. "And...I'll be around forever. I'm never leaving you. You and daddy."

At that moment, nothing could have been perfect as Jarod watched mother and son together. He walked over and put his arms around the both of them. He gave a light kiss on her lips and a kiss on his son's forehead. Burke smiled, then giggled when Parker kissed Jarod passionately.

"Ma..ma," he said.

They broke their kiss and Jarod turned to his son. "Yes, your mama's right here. She'll be back before you know it."

Parker patted Burke's behind as he laid in the comfort of his mother's arm. "I love you, you know that, don't you? You and daddy are what makes me want to fight all of this. Mommy's scared right now, but, not as scared as when "The Centre" took you away from me. So, I can handle anything as long as you two are alright." She took hold of Jarod's hand and hung on tightly. "I just want to hold on to you two forever, especially today, because I really need the both of you."

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It was a couple of hours since Parker had been wheeled into surgery. Thankful Sydney met him at the hospital, they waited what seemed like an eternity. Jarod jumped up as the doctor walked to them from the corridor. He held his breath as the physician walked slowly towards them.

"She's in recovery and should be in her room in awhile. You can see her then."

"How...the lump? Is it...," Jarod asked nervously.

"There's lab work to be done, then I'll talk to the both of you." He held out his hand and shook it firmly. "Don't worry."

As the doctor walked away, Jarod turned to Sydney. "Don't all you doctors say that even when there is something to worry about?"

"Jarod," Sydney laid a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Let's just wait and see, alright?"

"And if it's for the worst? How do you ever tell someone that their life is over? Is it just a job? Or do you as doctors ever feel anything for your patients? Any sympathy for them? Or do you just go on to your next patient and forget about the one you've given a death sentence to? Tell me, Sydney. What happens next?"

"We are very fortunate that we live in a world of modern technology. Years ago, there weren't any machines to run tests. No options to be given. I hate to say this, but, you just die. Miss Parker will have all those options given if the outcome is against her. The big "C" does not necessarily mean the end of the world for everyone."

"It will be for her," Jarod answered sadly.

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He lightly caressed her face. She was sleeping soundly, but, stirred a bit as he leaned over to peck her on her lips. Jarod sat back and watched his love laying peacefully. After an hour or so, Parker moved about and slowly opened her eyes. He smiled, held her hand and kissed it.

"Hey, sleeping beauty, you're finally up."

She stared at him unaware at first where she was. Several seconds later, she pulled away laying her hand over her left breast. "It's still here," she said softly. Thinking it might have been a mistake, she touched her right side. "What happened? Doctor? What did he say?"

"Well, he'll be in here soon. He's just gotten your results from the lab. No matter what. We'll get through this."

"It's my fault. I'm getting paid back for all of my wrongdoings. My treatment of you. I had no respect of other people's feelings. "Ice queen". I was cold and heartless. Jarod, I'm being punished for everything. Things happen for a reason." Tears flowed slowly down her face.

"Stop it," he whispered. "You're not being punished for anything. You're a wonderful person and full of love when it comes to me and Burke. I'm proud of you. Look you went through the surgery, let's just wait patiently for the doctor. If it didn't look good, they would have done something immediately. And they didn't, had they?"

"No," she answered.

She grabbed onto Jarod's arm when the doctor walked in. Her heart pounded heavily. Jarod stood up immediately, held his breath and waited for their world to come crashing down.

**TBC - Chapter 12**


	12. Chapter 12

**Author's Note: This story has finally come to an end. I'd like to thank everyone for their wonderful reviews and for keeping up with such a lengthy story. I hope I haven't missed anyone in my review replies. And to my anonymous reviewers, I wished I could have sent you a personal note of thanks. Thank you very much.**

In their eyes, they were the perfect couple. The predator and her prey. The "pretender" and his "ice queen". They completed each other. Their lives were nothing but obstacles they somehow seemed to have hurdled, yet, sometimes painfully.

Jarod scanned the many people they had befriended seated in the pews of the church. Being that Catherine had been a devout Catholic, he and Parker agreed when the time came, the services would be of her mother's faith. He stood nervously at the front of the altar surrounded by beautiful floral arrangements. Debbie sat in the front pew as Burke clung on to her and babbled unaware of what was happening. Broots sat along side of his daughter.

They had a relationship like no other. She hissed, growled, snapped and snarled at him each time he'd make those late night phone calls to her. He broke her heart when she barged into his house, into his bedroom and found the profiler in bed with him. He never knew how she felt until then, afterall, she was heartless. When had she begun to grow a heart?

Parker was full of fire. Jarod was just the opposite, knowing exactly how to calm her down. He would always love her. Nothing would ever stop the love he felt for her. She said she'd love him for all the days of her life. She would always be in his heart where she belonged. He could feel the warmth in his heart whenever she was close by. Today was no different.

He remembered the last time he'd spoken to her. She told him he had opened her heart which had been closed a very long time ago. Jarod cried knowing he could never love anyone as much as he loved Parker. She was a fighter, fought what she believed in. She believed in their relationship, in their partnership. So many years had been wasted until they had become one, until they put their past behind of the cat and mouse game they played.

Parker's assignment was to have him returned to "The Centre". He never intended to be caught up in her chase. Somewhere along the way, she stopped chasing, he stopped running. His eyes met Debbie's, he nodded and slightly smiled at her. His child was now sitting quietly in her arms, the baby Parker grew to love and claimed as her own. If she saw him sitting at attention, her little man, who was now almost a year old, indeed, she would have been so very proud of him. She had been right. Debbie was a true friend who'd always be there in times of need.

The church was rapidly filling up with more people. Jarod caught a glimpsed of Parker, but, turned away. She was his family. Tears quickly welled up in his eyes. She was beautifully dressed in a cream colored satin dress. Her hair and makeup had been done perfectly, beautifully.

The priest joined Jarod and spoke to him. He nodded, pressing his lips firmly down which showed the indentation of his dimples which Parker loved, at times, playfully poking her finger into it. He looked out at the people and took his place. Soft music played throughout the church. Jarod slowly inhaled, then, exhaled and waited.

Parker appeared in the arms of Sydney in the back of the church. She'd never imagined this day. The day she would be taking him for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, until death do us part. She thought for sure she would never live to see her "happily forever after".

They both cried when the doctor had given the news that her lump in her breast, was just that, a lump which was benign. She wondered why she was given a second chance in life. Her sky-blue eyes twinkled at the man who would take her as his wife. All was quiet while her captive audience watched her as she took steps to join the one person she had been trained to capture, but, instead, it was his heart, that she had selfishly taken into possession.

"Mama," Burked called out as she and Sydney walked past.

"Shh." Debbie told their little one, while there were soft chuckles throughout the church.

As she joined her future husband, tears of joy filled her eyes. Their yesterdays were now only memories, their tomorrows were promises of things to come. The only reality in which now existed was in the present moment, before a priest, taking their vows of marriage.

"I love you, Parker. Long ago you were just a dream. Thank you for being what you are to me. I will care for you, honor and protect you. I will share the good times and hard times with you. I will always be by your side. My heart will be a sanctuary of warmth and peace. I pledge my faith and love. My commitment to you will never fail. Just as this circle is without end, my love for you is eternal. Take this ring as a sign of my love."

"I love you, Jarod. I am thankful for our love that has bound our hearts. I will care for you with tenderness. I will be with you always to celebrate our lives forevermore. I pledge you my faithfullness and my eternal love. To be with you, is the path I have chosen. I give myself to you. I will make my home in your heart from this day forward. I will be your everything. Together we will dream. Take this ring as a sign of my love."

It was a celebration of new beginnings for them. Their union was sealed with a first kiss as husband and wife.

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It was their wedding night. They laid naked in the king-sized bed of their honeymoon suite. Parker nestled in his arms. Jarod caressed her bare skin. Gently, he laid her on her back. Together they moved in perfect harmony. She raised her hips as he rocked her provocatively to his increased rhythm. Arching upward, his bride took all of him.

Jarod moaned loudly when Parker had done a certain move she hadn't known she possessed. She whimpered and lifted her hips from the mattress. He felt her moved against him. He grabbed hold of her body and held her in a swaying motion. Writhing under him with burning desires, she never missed a beat as he delved into her with each rhythmic push. Wildly she responded to his thrust, she brought her legs up and entangled them around his waist. Circling her movements, he jerked explosively. In response to his actions, she immediately followed seconds later.

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It was Burke's first birthday. There was a garden party with balloons, party hats, a carousel and a magician who entertained the neighborhood children. Broots walked around the yard with his digital camera taking pictures of the happy event. Debbie was in charge of the younger children as they took turns on the carousel rides.

"You've done well, Jarod." Sydney said proudly as he stood along side of him while Burke sat on his daddy's shoulders and watched the happy scenario. Parker stepped out of the back door, into the celebration with the birthday cake in hand.

"Okay, everyone, it's cake time," she called out to her son and his little friends.

Hurriedly, they gathered around the birthday boy as he was seated in his guest of honor chair, with his party hat atop his head. Jarod had his arms around his wife as a rendition of "Happy Birthday Birthday To You" was sung by everyone. Burke clapped his hands. He loved being the center of attention.

"Okay, sweetheart," Parker bent down to him. "Want mommy to help you blow out the candles?"

"Blow," Burke squealed.

"On the count of three, you and mommy make a wish and blow, okay? One, two, three, make a wish. Blow," Jarod said.

Burke huffed, puffed and blew with his mother's help.

"Oh, Burke, you blew out your candles," Debbie cheered. "Want to lick the frosting off of it? Ummm, yummy."

"Yummy," he echoed.

Parker cut the cake as Jarod scooped out vanilla and chocolate ice cream onto each plate to the eagerly hungry little kids. Burke proceeded happily to feed himself leaving traces of frosting all over his face.

Parker laughed. "Oh, sweetheart, you should see yourself."

He giggled at his mother and happily ate to his content.

"Smile, Burke," Broots said as he held up his camera.

"Smile," Burke parroted, with his mouth full of cake.

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It was early evening. Jarod stood in the doorway of his son's room. Unaware of his presence, Parker sat on the floor with her one-year old amongst the many opened gifts he received from his birthday party.

"Tired, sweetheart?" Burke leaned back against his mommy in her comfort. She spoke soothingly to him. "Well, you had a busy day today with your friends, didn't you? Can't believe you're one already. Just a year ago, you came into this world and my whole life changed. Did you know that before I even got to know you, there was someone else who loved you very much? You had another mama before me. She loved you so much that she gave up her life for you. She fought so very hard for her baby. Yes, she did. And I promised to look after you, take care of you. It wasn't so hard because I've loved you from the start."

Parker ran her fingers lightly through his chestnut colored hair as he laid quietly on her. "Well, besides celebrating your birthday today, it's also a celebration of her life. She loved your daddy very much. That's why you're here. I'm glad you're here. I can't imagine my life without you. She left the same day you were born. And I haven't forgotten her. We should never forget her. I'm thankful everyday for you, so that makes me thankful for her. So, why don't we just sit here quietly for a minute or so and remember her memory. To Mama Rachel, thank you for allowing us the happiness you so well should have deserved."

She felt her husband's arms around her. "Have I ever told you I love you? Thank you for remembering Rachel on this day," he whispered kissing the back of her head. "And thank you for being you, for everything."

"No, Jarod," she turned to face him and handed their son over.

"Dad...dy."

"Thank you, for letting me into your lives, for wanting me in your lives. I love you both." She caressed his lips, then, kissed Burke on his cheek.

"I love you, too, we both do." You are so full of love. You've made us into a family, a family I never thought I'd ever have."

**The End**


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